I was listening to a testimony of how God moved so lovingly and greatly in the life of a dear lady and I started crying. I rhetorically thought for a moment, “Why am I crying?” I received a reply that I was not expecting which said the reason you are crying is because you are not experiencing this same level of my goodness in your life and the Spirit dwelling in you knows that this is my desire for you as well. So your spirit is crying out declaring that this is for you as well, your heart desires it and your flesh is fighting it, resulting in crying because your flesh is trying to say you are not worthy of such love and is grieved. The reality is God has already more than proven His love and that we are worth more than anything to Him by giving us His Son who died for us, with us as us that we would experience eternal life through Him.
I am not saying that every time someone cries at hearing the testimony of another this is the source or the reason behind their tears. Sometimes they truly may just be tears of joy from seeing Papa’s enormous love in action. I know for me though when I see things happen in the lives of others that I have already experienced I rejoice but seldom do I cry. I only usually cry in these instances where there is a need in my own life in reflection and a desire but no manifestation, not that God is slacking in any way, but in almost all cases it is because of my response or lack of in many instances or occasionally there is timing. There are times that though that shear goodness of god does just overwhelm me and the tears flow.
To myself I have come to accept the definition of faith as a response, an action, to hearing the word of God. Not necessarily the word as a whole but a specific word that causes a desire in your heart to want to act on. A word that provokes some sort of reaction or response. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen according to the definition in the book of Hebrews. Putting to action what one sees not by their physical eyes but in the spirit. In other words one may have a sickness or disease in the physical yet in the spirit they can envision themselves whole because of Jesus and in acting in faith by walking in the wholeness they see in the spirit it is manifested in the natural. It is not faith though to just arbitrarily act in an opposing way to a sickness without having some sort of revelation of the word in your heart.
Anyone can hear the word of God and intellectually accept that word as true but it is a whole other thing to believe, and have that word as a conviction of ones belief, in ones heart. We as human beings naturally act in response by what we believe in the default of our hearts. There are times in the natural though that we can alter our responses to what we believe so that instead of reacting to what we truly believe we react in an altered response. This is not how faith operates though in that faith is spiritual and operates based solely on what one truly believes in their heart and not out of an intellectually altered response that one rationalizes to be the appropriate response to the circumstances.
This is why in listening to the testimony that I heard, where I heard of Papa’s great love being manifested physically in this woman’s life it moved me to tears. There are things I truly desire to see in my life come to pass in hopes of experiencing the quality of life that I know God desires for me. Some of it may be timing but I know that the vast majority of any delay that I am experiencing is because of the persuasion in my heart to believe the truth. The truth that God does truly love me more than anything that I could do to hinder His love and that Jesus really did remove any barrier that their may have been between my Father and myself, outside of any barrier that I may not have torn down in my own mind and beliefs. The fact of the matter is the only reason there is any hindrance in receiving from God is because of what we believe contrary to God, or said another way what we fail to believe by the way of the truth as God sees it. If God has already given us all things in Christ Jesus then He is not the one holding anything back.